November 12, 2006

When I say "I can't wait", I don't mean it.
Don't listen to me, don't believe me!

When I say, I can't wait to see what color your eyes will be
I don't mean it. I love the color your eyes are right now.
The smokey blue, the piercing gaze, the feeling that you are looking right at me, right into me. That you are not a baby, but an old soul.
When I say I can't wait for you to walk, I don't mean it.
I love holding you all day, every day.
I love to cuddle you in my arms, I love squeezing you, I love carrying you, I love rocking you.
I am secretly afraid of the moment when you can walk away from me.
When I say I can't wait to see what you will look like when you're grown up, I don't mean it. I can wait. I want this moment to last forever. I love your tiny toes, and your graceful hands. Your eyelashes are longer today, when did that happen? You outgrew a onesie yesterday and I almost cried. Don't grow up too fast, I'm not done looking at you yet. I want to memorize all of you, just they way you are right now. I still can't believe you're here. Here you are. Don't change just yet. Let me look at you.